A CASE FOR SALVAGING NOT DISPOSING

An unbearable tooth pain followed by a dental consultation showed a root canal infection needing immediate attention. As the doctor dealt with it, quite severely in fact because of the extent of infection, I distracted myself with a muse about the medical profession. I realized it is indeed a noble profession, because its goal is basically to save and salvage as much as possible, human life and human existence. At least in essence that’s the core of the Hippocratic Oath that ensures that both the intention and the action of the profession would be to help rather than harm their patients.The oath, in fact, embodies a curse on oneself if this focus is absence so that the outlook and attitude of itis practitioners be one of saving and salvaging rather than disposing and destroying!

Salvaging is a term related to ships and seas, marine salvage being the process of recovering a ship and its cargo after a shipwreck or other maritime casualty. Salvage may encompass towing, re-floating a vessel, or effecting repairs to a ship. The first known salvage was in 219 BC, the Chinese Emperor Qin Shihuang (r. 221–210 BC) assembled an expedition consisting of a thousand people for the salvage of the Nine Tripod Cauldrons. The tripods were considered important artifacts, Chinese legends credit a Xia dynasty emperor with their construction. The tripods were lost in Sishui River in present-day Anhui Province. The salvage attempt was ultimately unsuccessful.

Today’s society is programmed and geared up to easy disposal rather than salvaging or recovering. Take any product, big or small, launched by any company , big or small, the focus seems be to produce and market a product that last only for a maximum of two or three years. The design specs and the manufacturing focus is not to last long, but that it should wear out in a few years time. Gone are the days when everything was built to last and durability, reliability and longevity determined the integrity of a product. Now, constant and continuous change is the mantra of society and fluidity that belies stability and sustainability is the watchword of the hour. The result of such an ethos and environment has triggered an artificial appetite for constant upgrade that keeps looks beyond and therefore, not easily satisfied or contented. Change is good when it is part of natural flow of things,but change for the sake of change is unreal and unhealthy.

The by-product of such an outlook is the enormous build up of garbage and junk, the outcome of this favoring of disposal and a craving for everything new every time. What is the use of complaining of leaching landfills, contaminated water bodies and loss of greenery when you pile up garbage that is the outcome of an use-and-throw mentality that is encouraged by all and sundry. A perspective that’s wooed by sales, promoted by manufacture and advertised by trade, acquiring the in thing of the year is the craze that feeds the frenzy! What is the use of introducing umpteen programs for greening of the planet, when you keep stoking the fires of purchase as the entertainment of the day! What’s the use of trying to control the outflow when you are not drying up the collection by shutting up the inflow! What’s the use of any conservation to stem pollution by refuse or boosting reuse, recycle or refurbish when you don’t nip it at the source viz the attitude of easy disposal and disposables! As long as disposal is hyped over salvaging, no program or policy will make this planet green nor teach its people clean!

I was struck by my dentist’s commitment to save my teeth and salvage what remained of it, rather than disposing of it. He kept encouraging me to bear the pain and cooperate with him even it hurt, so that I could hold on to what I already had. It would have been the easiest thing to have just pull the teeth, cleanse the area and go his way. He, however, chose to spend hours bent over my teeth, digging out the infection with a ruthlessness that was quiet daunting. Yet it comforted me because I saw that he would not rest until I was totally free of any infection.

Thanks to him, I now have all my teeth intact with a new appreciation of the medical profession. Thanks to his attitude to save rather than throw out, my face is back to its perfect shape and structure. Thanks to his responsible intention and action to protect and preserve, I am whole again.

Will we similarly ensure that our planet and its people with the right perspective and right development? God help us if we don’t!

*Photos courtesy Shutter Stock and google images

WRITING ARIGHT

God has written beforehand your story
He’s formed it to be for His glory,
He’s chosen you the hero in theory,
He is waiting for you to accept His reality!

God has written the plot of your story,
He needs you to trust Him in totality,
He does everything in sync with His sagacity,
He will cover you with His kindness and mercy!

God is waiting to rewrite your story,
Kindly sit down and take an inventory.
Throw out things that will boost your depravity,
Take in that which will make you good and holy!

God is continuing to write your story,
It will surely and truly end in His glory,
Choice is yours to be rooted in His family,
Then you will surely be part of history!
                

Sabina Tagore Immanuel

*This poem was triggered by a post on fb

*Photo courtesy in splash.com

DISTRESS DIRIGE

Help me O Lord Creator of all,
God of heaven and of the whole earth,
Lead me completely into the perfect rest,
That you have kept in store allotted for me.

Carved out with care, 
Fashioned with flair
You have ordained my special lair,
For it to be when I tear.

Help me to let go of the old cast,
The familiar way of the real past,
Trusting the One Who has held me fast,
Knowing He would be with me till the last.

Father, I have nothing to show forth nor anything to call my own
All I have on the altar laid for your fire to consume.
Transition me through this valley of shadow of death,
With your gentle strength and your great presence.

Father, it’s a new path I haven’t walked before,
My heart and my flesh shrink from the cross to bear.
It’s not that I doubt your plan for me nor your skill to repair,
It’s the humiliation that I would need to stand and daily endure.

Let the waves that break over me in quick succession
Only prove that it is all for my own progression.
Anchor me in firm stand until they are in recession,
So that I will not sink and be lost in deep depression.

Birth in me the life of Christ
Mold me true in His image so clear.
Hold me close and hide me in you
Until I see your face on the other side!

SABINA TAGORE IMMANUEL

*Photos courtesy unsplash.com

WHERE ARE THE MEN?

A famous film music composer has released a single for a Tamil movie that is dedicated to all women. It honors a woman in all her roles as mother, sister, daughter, friend etc. It is to motivate women to accept themselves as being strong and not weak.

Women are rising up everywhere to showcase their mettle, not as a challenge to or in competition with men, but as those complementing them to complete vital goals and projects. A glance at our nation’s history will throw up a number of names where, when men either failed or did not rise up or were killed in action, the women stepped in to preserve their homes and hearths. Remember Rani Laxmi Bhai, Jhansi Rani, Chand Bibi, Razel Sultan, Rani Mangamma, Velu Nachiyar and others who took up the reins when their men fell. Besides those who fought and participated in the freedom struggle, India post-independence has seen many achievements by women.

As pioneers and path-breakers, women have broken the glass ceiling in many fields, once thought to be the bastion of men. Women leaders such as Indira Gandhi, Margaret Thatcher, Kalpana Chawla, Michelle Obama, Indra Nooyi, Hima Das and others have been and become an inspiration all around. Women-centric movies such as Superwoman, Hunger Games and women-themed TV shows such as Xena the Warrior Princess are on the rise. This shift is not taking place only in the West, but also in traditionally male-dominated societies such as many Asian cultures.

Women are being mooted as able and dependable workers in contrast to men. They can multitask and juggle well both the responsibilities of home and work. They are versatile, willing learners, less ego-centric, stay focused and go the extra mile everywhere. They are not rolling stones seeking to jump to greener pastures, but are often content to evolve and grow in one place. Investing in them thus proves to be more advantageous to firms and companies since they will stick around.

While women have been reaching for the stars and stretching to the horizon, men have sadly lagged behind in every aspect and respect. They are often bound by culture restrictions, social norms and familial traditions, seeking to live in the past. Rather than moving with the times and walking in tandem with their counterparts, they retreat to age-old practices. Often insecure, they try to compensate by domination and intimidation, especially where women may prove to be superior in intellect and work. Sexual harassment and abuse are their favorite weapons, and derogatory and snide remarks their way to demean their female counterparts.

Rather than appreciate the richness women bring and seek to upgrade through assimilating their contribution, men often tear down  or demean their input. Instead of acknowledging the worth of a woman and promoting her abilities to add value to the team, men feel threatened by a woman’s credentials, especially when it is superior to theirs. Competition is in their blood and complementing without loss to dignity and authority is a concept so foreign and alien to them. Rare it is to come across a man who finds it easy to recognize and respect the gift a woman brings and the boon she is all around!

In a time when women are surging forward to find their voice and realize their potential, men are being left far behind – emotionally, rationally and even spiritually. In India and other Asian countries women seem to have the mind-set of the 21st century and men seem to still live in the past, often evoking the double standards that existed in a patriarchal system. Religion and social ethics are usually used to confine and control the ‘weaker sex’, rather than to promote equality and equinamity. As freedom of thought and expression will cause ostracization, women often tend to clip their own wings  and chop their own legs! Whenever some die-hard rises up to challenge the system, she would be branded and tarred as rebel and outcast!

Sis Nivetha, born Margaret Elizabeth Noble of Irish descent, was told by Swami Vivekananda, pointing to the opposite bank of the Ganges: `Nivedita that is where I would like to have a convent for women. Like a bird that needs two wings to fly, India must have both educated men and educated women.” She ended up opening a school for women and thus made hai dream come true. She motivated Subramania Bharati, the well-known Tamil writer, poet, journalist, Indian independence activist and social reformer, with her bid for women.  On learning that he did not bring his wife with him to the meeting of the All India National Congress  ‘as she would not understand about great Movements like the Congress’, she flared up: “How can one half of a society win freedom when it enslaves the other half? Let the past be forgotten. Henceforth, do not think of her as something different. Hold her as your left hand and praise her in your heart as an angel.” Inspired by her words, he wrote his seminal work on the new age woman and became a champion of women’s emancipation. A true change of heart at a time when extreme conservativism was at its peak!

Now and then there does rise a gem of a man who doesn’t feel endangered by the capacity of a woman or her beneficence. He is so secure in who he is, what he is capable of and understands the value of a woman, that goes out of the way to seek women of ability to be part of his home or his team. He will be man enough to admit he is wrong when he is and will not be frazzled or rattled by the ribbing of other men. He will be one who will smooth the way for women to shine and give them a helping over thorns and hurdles strewn in their path. He will smile with pride at their achievements, be it mother, sister, wife, daughter or team mate and make opportunities for them to flower and excel. Submission to such a man would be a delight to any woman and serving under such a man would be an honor to any woman. Rare is the man who will truly be a man and happy are the women who have such a treasure in their midst!

If ever there was one who was such in this world, it is none other than Jesus Christ Himself. Born as a man and living as a man, He is the true author of emancipation of the weak and downtrodden, especially women. He had women in his team who ministered to his needs and brought the element of care to his group, without which his work would have been incomplete. He defended them and stood up for them, wiping away their tears and their pain. He did away with their social stigma by entrusting them with major tasks and his disciples followed suit, not feeling challenged by women. In his eyes, women had the same worth as men and his role definition for them was never born out of meanness or spite, but of care for their protection and preservation.

Happy is the man who would emulate him and seek to be his true follower by imitating his example!

*Photo courtesy google images

WOMAN, WARRIOR OR WORRIER?

I have become a fan of Star Trek, Avenger and other Marvel as well as space movies such as Interstellar, courtesy of my children. I first watched them to keep abreast of my children and have intelligent (according to them) conversations with them, but became interested in the physics aspect of these films. One scene in the last Avengers Endgame movie touched me much – the scene where Captain Marvel is about to carry the sleeve of stones and all the women warriors including a female ironman join to escort her as team together in her task.

It made me emotional to see a band of women stand shoulder to shoulder, not just one of their own when she needed help, but participate in this task while the men were engaged in battling the strong man directly. Their partnering together with the band of men as a band of strong women to complete a crucial link that would turn the fight around enthralled me. Their rising up to say, here we are ready to help you as team together to preserve life as we all know. They rallied around to do their part, not content to simply stand on the sidelines as spectators, but stepped in to fill the gap that had fallen in a crucial time. What a picture of togetherness, oneness and commitment to the mission on hand!

Many women today somehow think and feel, despite being capable, like china dolls and dainty darlings needing petting, pampering and preserving. Mothers, especially, are in the dangerous profession of turning out inspid weak daughters rather than strong women capable of spearheading a family, a company, a society and a nation. Out there in society around, women are rising up to showcase their mettle, not as a challenge to or in competition with men, but as those complementing them to complete vital goals and projects.

A glance at our nation’s history throws up a number of names who, where when men either failed or were killed in action, rose up to preserve their homes and hearth. Remember Rani Laxmi Bhai, Jhansi Rani, Chand Bibi, Razel Sultan, Rani Mangamma, Velu Nachiyar and others who took up the reins when their men fell. According to history, women during the Vedic period enjoyed equal status with men in all aspects of life. Independent India has also its share of women who have been pioneers and path-breakers as well as firsts in many fields thought to be the bastion of men. Women in India were allowed to vote right from the first general elections after the independence of India in 1947 unlike during the British rule who resisted allowing women to vote.

Savitribai the first teacher, Kadambini Ganguly and Anandi Gopal Joshi the first women trained in Western medicine, Sarojini Naidu the first Indian born female president of the Indian National Congress Sarla Thakral the first to fly an aircraft, Amrit Kaur the first female Cabinet minister of India in the country’s first cabinet, Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit the first woman (and first Indian) president of the United Nations General Assembly, Anna Chandy first woman judge of a High Court, Kiran Bedi first IPS officer< Bachendri Pal first woman to climb Mt Everest, Priya Jhingan first woman cadet of Indian army, Karnam Malleswari first Indian woman to win an Olympic Medal, etc., and most recently Hima Das the first Indian sprinter to win a gold medal at an international track event all testify to the potential of the Indian woman.

In the Bible, we note the important role women played in propagation and progress of the gospel. They ministered to Jesus with their substance, were last at the cross, first at the grave, first bearers of the good news of the resurrection, they opened their homes to the apostles for the church to be established and so on. The Old Testament also has its share of women such as Deborah who led Israel into battle as a judge, Abigail who with her quick thinking saved her husband, Jehosheba who preserved the kingly line, Esther who stood up to save her people and many others who, according to the writer of the book of Hebrews, received back their dead, raised to life again. It is therefore clear that women have been traditionally, culturally, socially and biblically warriors rather than worriers.

Women of today have either a lethargic and lackadaisical attitude or a fight-for-the-sake-of-fighting feminist stance. There is a lack of of sober judgment based on sound thinking, critical analysis and intuitive discernment. There is either a clinging-on-ivy-like attitude or a totally stand-alone demeanour, both of which are neither productive nor constructive. The beauty of woman is her innate ability to nurture, motivate, bolster, affirm and build up others even at great cost to herself. Balancing this is her automatic militant reaction to any threat, not to her person, but to whatever would hurt or harm her loved ones. Watch a mother hen bristle and rise up against anything that would come against her chicks. She runs to the defence, not caring for her ownself, without any ideas for self-preservation, to take on a foe bigger and larger than herself, just so her loved ones may be safe. Nature and instinct for battle to ensure protection is so ingrained in a woman, whoever she may be!

Why then in the church do not women rise up to done the garb of a warrior to battle for those worthy of being preserved and protected! Why do we whine and cry, being a damsel in distress expecting some knight to rescue us like Queen Guinevere of Camelot who sat in her tower waiting for Lancelot to come charging! Or like dancer Sivagami who waited for the Pallava King to save her honor by waging a great war that cost many lives!

We are the daughters of the Most High fashioned to be ‘pillars carved to adorn a palace’. The Bible declares that The Lord announces the word, and the women who proclaim it are a mighty throng: Kings and armies flee in haste; the women at home divide the plunder (Ps 68:11-12). We are warrior princess, not wrestling or fighting with people, with principalities and powers of darkness that scare, torture and enslave the weak and defenceless. We are not meant to throw up the towel or cover our heads and lament with wailing and weeping. We are called to rise up and battle for our own on our knees and in our minds

One of the favorite TV shows I used to love watchin was Xena the Warrior Princess and I love the concept of capability vested in Superwoman. I love reading about Jhansi Rani, Rani Laxmi Bhai, Indira Gandhi, Margaret Thatcher, Angela Merkel, Christine LeGarde and Michelle Obama, about women who have impacted all around with strength when needed and with quietness when warranted. They did not sit around rueing their lot, but when adversity hit them, they rose to the occasion. They were not content, as the nursery rhyme Curly-locks, Curly-locks, ‘sit on a cushion and feed upon strawberries, sugar and cream‘, but rise up in action to lay hold of their destiny.

No one likes trouble or problems, but life has a way of littering our paths with thorns, not roses. It is better not to sit around worrying about what you cannot change, for worrying only saps your energy and makes you useless to tackle the issue. The better option is to use the opportunity and the opposition to our advantage, which is to put on our war mode and lash out the enemies that war against our soul, our family, our church and our nation.

It is better to be a boon than a burden or a bane to be borne or bailed by others!

*Photos courtesy the internet and google images

THE HARE & THE TORTOISE

This weekend I was privileged to be judging a competition in one of my city’s well-known schools, along with others. The chief guest of the day, a young writer and educationist, rephrased the proverbial tale of the hare and the tortoise in four different versions.

The first one was the usual version we have all heard of the tortoise winning the race, giving rise the famous adage Slow and steady wins the race. She encouraged the crowd of young and old listeners, participants of the day and the parents and others, to learn the lesson of being consistent in your efforts even when the odds were against you.

The second version as told by her was that of  the hare, having got the worse end of the bargain, challenging the tortoise to a repeat race and true to form, winning it in style. Her application of this version of the story encouraged her audience to possess the craving to win, even when you have seemingly failed.

The third version of the story had the tortoise demanding a third race in which he would set the course. The hare agrees and sets off in his usual fast pace until he reaches a hurdle. A stream blocks his way and he has no recourse but to see the tortoise go sailing past him to win again. Her conclusion here was that it is important to make wise choices that play to your strengths.

A fourth version of the story had her describing  the hare and the tortoise arriving at a collaboration to both win the race. The hare agrees to carry the tortoise across the path where he is king and the tortoise likewise agreeing to do the same for hare in his own area of strength. It is a win-win situation where complementary action enhances and promotes relationship that competition did not enable. Her point was that, collaboration with others would bring greater reach and benefit than when you isolate yourself.

The first thought I had when I saw a young speaker, was the contrast with yesteryears when a chief guest would normally and usually be a senior person. I almost felt resentment that the old are being neglected for the young and the seniors more and more being sidelined almost as if they are of no consequence. Tech-savvy youngsters are quickly replacing people who have slogged faithfully for many years, giving the best years of their life to the company. At an age and time when they should be those in positions of leadership, they are being overlooked for promotion or being denied it for the sake of a trainee who is probably half or even one-third their age. They are placed in a very delicate position of being to protest the injustice of it all and having to bear with much indignity due to the needing a job at a time when they are funding their children’s higher education and need. Many of them just shut up and put up in order to survive in a highly competitive environment just because they have commitments that cannot be laid down and miles to go before they can rest.

As I sat there listening to her talk and her innovative interpretation of a familiar tale, I had a moment of epiphany – collaboration is the key to promote goodwill and well-being, causing a win-win situation all around! Young blood has the passion, the effervescence, the drive and power needed to propel to new levels and heights. Golden-ager has the patience, experience, stability and stamina necessary to establish once the heights are reached. Youth is like the upper reaches or the starting points of rivers, which leap and bound over obstacles, their headlong power rush helping to overcome impediments that would hinder the progress. The old hands are like the third stage and estuary sections of a river, its very slowness and meandering contributing to establishment of rich alluvials that promote cultivation and agriculture. Interchanging of these capabilities and natural strengths would indeed have catastrophic effect and cataclysmic impact on the work done by a river.

The story is told of a sultan who one decided to move his capital to another location and decreed that the old and the ailing should be left behind as they would delay the progress and be a drag on their displacement. He wanted a smooth and quick transition and so insisted that they old be abandoned. One filial son, however, could not bear to leave his aged widowed father behind and chose to carry him hidden in a basket on his shoulders as his personal goods. Halfway to their destination, the host of people ran out of water and could not find water for not just the people but also the cattle that accompanied them. The son spoke to his father who told him to advise the sultan to let loose the deer in their horde and a few swift riders to follow the deer. The sultan, though doubting the soundness of the advice, followed it as he had no other resort left. A few hours after the release of the animals, the riders following them rode into the camp with the joyous news of finding water. The sultan praised the young guy, who then confessed that sound counsel had come from his father and he begged the sovereign to forgive his duplicity. Sultan praised him for his love and care, and determined to transport those left behind to join them in the new place once they reached it.

 

Generation gap is thought to be an urban myth and a perceived bane of advanced, modern and sophisticated societies. Primitive settlements and simple cultures do not seem to grapple with this situation and the principles of their existence. Their age-old time-tested practices such as initiation rites seem to help bestow individuality in the context of community and promote general cohesiveness through the collaboration of the generations. The golden oldies serve as the backbone of their social structure, while the sprightly youngster becomes the pride and progress of the tribe. Such peaceful cooperation and co-existence works to the advantage of both, neither feeling upstaged or neglected, their unspelled partnership ensuring the overall success of the general population. Sure there are rebels and upstarts who sometimes tend to upset the apple cart, but these who are usually rare rather than the norm are soon put in place by the restrictions and regimes (such as banishment from the tribe) of the society they are part of.

In the aftermath of crucifixion, death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, Apostle Paul, the early architect of churches, Apostle Paul, giving a similar pattern of co-functioning. In his letters to the early churches and its leaders, he sets model for partnership of the different age groups. He sets the standard of the older men and women by advising them to have a conduct worthy of respect so that they could teach the younger sound deportment that would promote care of the next generation and maintain perfect order and harmony in the community. This would then ensure that there would be no hindrance or impediment to achieving the common goal of the community viz., the progress of the gospel.

I came away from that function, not only with my hands full of goodies given in honor of my participation in the event, but also my mind buzzing with fresh insight into the means of achieving a harmonious arrangement of the ages that would be a breathtaking symphony of collaboration. I now had a different story to teach, an old story revamped with new ideas, the old hare and tortoise tale repackaged!

*Photos courtesy: https://unsplash.com/photos/T1L9Q5g7eIQ, https://unsplash.com/photos/8EPC89sG-gQ, https://unsplash.com/photos/vwsSnbbRQww, https://unsplash.com/photos/vWNUkHyQ2KA and https://unsplash.com/photos/51T7PQXBTOo

KISMET

“When the man met the woman of his dreams, he said it was kismet. ” “Perhaps it was kismet Jim won the lottery right after he lost his job.”  “If kismet does not interfere and allow someone to see the smoke signal, the injured man will die in the freezing canyon.” “So this is your fate destiny kismet you must rise up to it because no one else can take this job.” You have probably heard of such sentiments or read such statements .

The Urban Dictionary says: The word Kismet is of foreign origin and is used in Turkish, Urdu, Hindi and Arabic. In Hindi it means “fate” or “destiny” and the meaning is exactly the same in English. So instead of saying, “it is fate”, you could say “it is kismet“. According to Merriam-Webster, Kismet’ comes from the Arabic word ‘qisma’, which means “portion” or “lot.” Kismet was borrowed into English in the early 1800s from Turkish, where it was used as a synonym of fate. This was an expansion on the meaning of the original Arabic word qisma that led to kismet and one early 18th-century bilingual dictionary says it’s a synonym of “fragment.”

Kalyan Kumar, Vice-president of Human Resources at India Uniper, opines that ‘we often tend to view the word Karma through the prism of Kismet, or fate or destiny. Fundamentally, the roots of these two terms, namely, Karma and Kismet, are from entirely different cultural moorings. The word Karma is native to the Indic civilization, and is common to all of the spiritual traditions that were spawned by the Indic civilization. Kismet has its roots in the Semitic middle east, more specifically in Islam.’ According to him, ‘Karma is much more than Fate, Destiny or Kismet. The term Kismet or Destiny is in common man’s parlance that God alone determines everything. He is the creator, mover as well as the final judge! In the Karmic world on the other hand the doer alone is responsible for all the consequences arising out his actions. Karma by its very intent makes one responsible for one’s actions as well as its attendant consequences.’

In my South Indian dialect of Tamil, one of the longest-surviving classical languages in the world, the word often used to explain the inconsequential happenings of life is ‘vidhi’ – It is all her vidhi that these things happened to her. Vidhi is explained as fate, which is written on the head, and is used both positively and negatively, to deal with the unexplainable incidents of living and being.

The negative connotation of the word often results in a fatalistic and simplistic acceptance of negative conditions or circumstances found in someone’s life. It produces a passivity that accepts, with a dejected finality, even what could, with a little more will and effort, be surmounted and overcome. It is the root cause of a defeatist mentality and frequently, the impulse and impetus for suicide and self-immolation.

The positive nuance of the word, on the other hand, recently struck me as being such a help to accept what cannot be undone or unmade. It assists in tiding over the sense of defeat at the missed opportunities, lends comfort when feeling loss at the lapse of time and acts as balm to the deep grief felt for what could have been. It provides the stimulus for a positive and constructive outlook and produces a beneficial and effective attitude. A posture of acceptance and compliance is then birthed, helping to release a free flow of forgiveness. Rather than fostering negative emotions of resentment, rancour and revenge that fester into unforgiveness, it assuages the emotions of antipathy and hostility .

Able to say to the guilty, ‘it is okay, it is just vidhi (or kismet), helps pave the way for bridging the gap betrayal has created and promote relationship by offering the olive branch over the hurdle of hurt. It can create a conducive atmosphere to accept the offender, foster an understanding of the offender and enable an acceptance of the delinquent. It can also prepare the wounded and the offended to receive the one who has wronged and deceived them. It will help to view those who are especially overwhelmed by the enormity of their action or inaction and overcome by the consequences of their participation or abstinence, with the right attitude of clemency and mercy. At the end, it would help offer pardon to those who are overpowered by the guilt of their commission or omission and a way out of defeat into dignity.

The victim would be able to rise above petty feelings of retribution and recrimination to heights of nobility in thought and attitude towards the perpetrator. It would relieve the aggrieved party of rages and grudges, ensuring well-being rather than ill-health born of harboring negative emotions. Forgiveness and reconciliation are powerful restoratives of wholesomeness, both to the injured and the assailant.

It is not that the former deny or sweep away the effects of the crime or violation, but are able to put it aside and move on. It is not that they condone or gloss over the crime, but are enabled to bear with the culprit. It is not that they overlook or just condemn the transgression, but are endued with the ability to bear with the transgressor. They are powerfully motivated to not linger in or camp around the hurt, but start the process of rising phoenix-like from the ashes of their disappointment and distress to new life and being.

May be this seems to be a cop out or a denial or a disassociation, but I see it more as a coping mechanism that enables health and healing on both sides. It actually helps to come to terms with the issue, grapple with its impacts and move on to a virtuous frame of mind. Instead of squatting around wasteful emotions that tear at the soul, fracture the mind and destroy the physique, it helps build on a negative situation and utilize ‘what was meant to be evil’ to become a success, a strength and, in the end, a triumph of the spirit over animal instincts!

In today’s parlace, the word kismet conjures up pictures of a musical, a movie, a computer progam or a company, but in real life it is a lodestar of treasure. In truth, kismet or qismat in Persion, as in the story of Rumpelstiltskin, spins gold out of straw, converts dung into fuel and transforms the ordinary into the extraordinary and other worldly. Like the waves wiping smooth the ruffled sand, it smoothes the wrinkles of life and levitates normal human beings to be more like and closer to the Creator, Who causes the sun to shine and rain to fall on both the good and bad. Not surprising, since, by definition, Kismet is being sure that God is Sovereign over all and that you are under His rule!

* Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash
* https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/karma-kismet-same-kalyan-kumar/